Of course, if basketball is your sport, you know that the professional players all wear mouth guards.  Your man can play any position ——— figuratively and literally.  In fact his snore guard makes him appear younger, sexier, and more desirable especially if you take your reading glasses off.  You are so blind, that without your reading glasses you really cannot tell the difference between a mouthguard and a snore guard, a twenty year old and your husband, a muscular athlete and your old man.  So have a beer, and show that team spirit!  And bring on your own kind of Miami Heat!