LOOKING FOR IDEAS – LITERARY AGENT, PUBLISHING HOUSE
Do you know a senior who has sleep apnea? Who was told to use a CPAP machine but who hates it?
I wrote a very funny piece: IS THERE SEX AFTER SLEEP APNEA? The piece deals head on with the feelings but it has an uplifting and uproarious conclusion. I found many ways to make your man (and you) feel romantic and sexy about the machine.
I am thinking GRAPHIC NOVEL for seniors. Any ideas?
When I was working, we would look at real estate every place we vacationed. Now I realize that we were just trying to prolong the vacation by pretending to make it last forever. I can no longer pretend anything anymore. I will never be rich. The way the stock market plummeted, I may never be able to eat. But, I still have my escape valve.
Mine is having the 3 s’s: A soup, salad, and smoothie stand. I do not like cooking per se. But I really enjoy making soups and salads and I especially love making smoothies. I start my day with a smoothie. I use the Vega Protein Shake as its base. Today, in honor of my fall birthday, we invented a new flavor- Sweet Potato. Instead of making the flavor base a banana, we added a peeled roasted sweet potato. We added plenty of cinnamon, almond milk, non fat plain Greek Yogurt, and blueberries. It tasted like pumpkin pie. It tasted healthy. It tasted rich and it filled us up.
I came up with the solution: Silicon Soup! I will teach Phil to make soup and then he can pour the silica gel into it. If it is harmless to eat, even though the label says: “Do Not Eat,” then it must be safer than Botox because I doubt the label on Botox says: “Harmless to ingest.”
Then Phil can become Silicon Chef and offer nutritious food WITH the added benefit of smoothing out the wrinkles simultaneously. If my tongue and throat got tight, which they did, I mean just think what it can do the wrinkles!
Maybe he invented Silicone Smoothie? The next big thing ? Better than botox? I will let you know if my face is smoother, firmer, younger looking. Then you can ask my husband to make Silicon Smoothie for you!
And thanks to my experience, you can drink it without worrying about whether or not you ingested something harmful!
So my husband made me a protein shake – with a vegan base, cherry juice, almond milk, and blackberries. If you drink 5 cups of liquid before 11:00 a.m., you are basically ensuring that you will be well hydrated for the day ahead.
I drank a glass, and then went for a second. I felt the plastic in my mouth. I took it out and realized that a silica gel pack must have dropped from the vega-based protein into the blender and was now on its way down to my stomach.
I panicked. I called the 24-hour nurse hotline on my insurance card. The nurse was not definitive. She couldn’t tell me if I was ok or not. She told me to call 911 and have the paramedics check me out. The packet I showed them said: “Do not eat” but also “Contains a Harmless Substance.” Phil was screaming : “Don’t let them take you to the hospital. It will be 6-8 hours before they let you go.” And no one was telling me if what I swallowed is harmless or poisonous!
Phil got in touch with my daughter who Gooogled it up. “What happens if you ingest silica pack?” and the answer: “ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.” By that time, the paramedics had gotten in touch with Poison Control and they confirmed I did not need to go to the hospital.
Would you want to grow old with a man that doesn’t notice a silica packet dropping into the blender?
Kudos to NYC for really teaching. My grandson just “graduated” from kindergarten. This is a ceramic piece he made after learning about Wayne Thiebaud, his favorite artist. Of course that was a month ago. Now his favorite artist is Jim Dine. I can talk to him about Picasso and Leger and O’Keefe and the list goes on.
For graduation, he told me, his class was going to sing “It’s a Wonderful World,” by Louis Armstrong. Yes, he knew who wrote the song and he knew some history about Armstrong.
His music teacher encouraged him to learn piano and so he is. And he practices 10 minutes everyday.
THANK YOU NYC for doing your job in educating my grandson. THERE ARE NO TEACHERS LIKE NYC PUBLIC SCHOOL TEACHERS once the city makes up its mind to do the job!