SO MY HUSBAND HAS SLEEP APNEA…

Five years ago we went shopping for a new mattress.  After trying out all kinds, we decided on the Sleep Number bed that adjusts firmness.  You loved playing with the remote that made the head go up or down, and the feet go up and down.  Then we picked out a modern four poster – the kind that holds those gauzy curtains, the kind you saw in those Caribbean hotels you went to every winter vacation, the kind that blow in the wind.  You are a romantic.

BUT NOW your bed no longer reminds you of those 5-star hotels.  The curtains no longer remind you of the Trade Winds.  NO!  Your bed reminds you of the hospital bed your husband was in when he came out from his surgeries.  The curtain reminds you of the privacy curtains you opened and closed in the hospital rooms he shared with strangers.

To add insult to injury, your husband has been told that his sleep apnea is now severe and he needs the CPAP machine.  CPAP stands for continuous positive airway pressure therapy.  It used a hose and a mask or nosepiece to deliver constant steady air pressure.  For the rest of us, however, the CPAP looks an awful lot like a breathing machine.  That’s right.  You put the mask on and you plug yourself in.    To be continued…

SO MY HUSBAND WAS TOLD HIS SLEEP APNEA NEEDED TO BE ADDRESSED.

Five years ago we went shopping for a new mattress.  After trying out all kinds, we decided on the Sleep Number bed that adjusts firmness.  You loved playing with the remote that made the head go up or down, and the feet go up and down.  Then we picked out a modern four poster – the kind that holds those gauzy curtains, the kind you saw in those Caribbean hotels you went to every winter vacation, the kind that blow in the wind.  You are a romantic.

BUT NOW your bed no longer reminds you of those 5-star hotels.  The curtains no longer remind you of the Trade Winds.  NO!  Your bed reminds you of the hospital bed your husband was in when he came out from his surgeries.  The curtain reminds you of the privacy curtains you opened and closed in the hospital rooms he shared with strangers.

To add insult to injury, your husband has been told that his sleep apnea is now severe and he needs the CPAP machine.  CPAP stands for continuous positive airway pressure therapy.  It used a hose and a mask or nosepiece to deliver constant steady air pressure.  For the rest of us, however, the CPAP looks an awful lot like a breathing machine.  That’s right.  You put the mask on and you plug yourself in.    To be continued…

 

 

 

IS THERE SEX AFTER SLEEP APNEA?

I am presenting a book talk about my book:  RAGING AGAINST AGING tomorrow but I intend to include some new material I am working on.  I have an idea for a graphic novel entitled:  “IS THERE SEX AFTER SLEEP APNEA?”

I mean, first they tell you to “AGE WITH DIGNITY.”  Then they sing:  “YOU CAN’T TAKE AWAY MY DIGNITY!”

THEN THEY hand your husband a C-PAP machine with the mask!  Your husband is thinking – ‘THEY JUST TOOK AWAY MY DIGNITY!” and you are thinking that even though this is a breathing machine it sure looks like an oxygen machine.

And you are both wondering if there is a shred of romance to be had!download-1.jpg

SEVEN MORE BOOKS SOLD RECENTLY!

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How do I know? Because I get reports online!  For ALL those considering publishing, I would recommend you look into KDP.  They are now offering formatting books program and webinars to help you promote.  I have ANOTHER book talk beginning mid April in Woodbury, NY.  Anyone interested, please message me.

 

 

looking for ideas – a literary agent? a publishing co? a graphic novel publisher? I have a piece called: IS THERE SEX AFTER SLEEP APNEA?

LOOKING FOR IDEAS – LITERARY AGENT, PUBLISHING HOUSE
Do you know a senior who has sleep apnea? Who was told to use a CPAP machine but who hates it?
I wrote a very funny piece: IS THERE SEX AFTER SLEEP APNEA? The piece deals head on with the feelings but it has an uplifting and uproarious conclusion. I found many ways to make your man (and you) feel romantic and sexy about the machine.
I am thinking GRAPHIC NOVEL for seniors. Any ideas?

Diet alone or exercise alone will NOT do it!

We were watching our diet.  We increased our vegetable intake.  We cut out the sugars and drastically reduced the carbs.  But we both gained weight – me two pounds, my husband six pounds.  The dietician was upset.  She takes weight gain as her personal failure.  We had cut down on the intensity and time of our exercise.  It was cold and rainy and dreary.  The stock market was in a nose dive.  We were depressed.  We slacked off.

We went back to the gym and after two days – we lost that weight gain.  So, do we have a choice?  We have to exercise AND watch our diet.  This is a taxing almost full time job.  On the other hand, we stopped eating out because we cannot control what we eat if we are not preparing it and so, we are managing to save $ 250 a month.  Unfortunately, that does not come close to recouping what we have lost in our retirement funds.

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HALF a PLATE of WHAT?

I don’t know what you grew up eating.  In my home, we had a meat or poultry, a baked potato, and frozen steamed veggies.  Yeah, those veggies lacked something called flavor!  So did the potato but we were able to doctor it.  Come to think of it, so did the meat, before we discovered salt and pepper.  Herbs?  That was a name of a few uncles. We grew up with the food pyramid and we ate those 7 grains daily.

Well, now, in our later years, we are at the dietician (who is one step above the nutritionist and Medicare will pay).  And this is what we have to eat – not just at dinner – but for every meal and snack:  VEGETABLES!

My husband NEVER ate anything green before.  This is RADICAL!  When I told my daughter that we have to cut back on costs because of the stock market nose dive, she said that Vegan eating is cheaper.  That would kill two birds with one stone – increase vegetable and cut down on money. Besides, if we shrink our stomachs, we will even eat LESS and thus, save even more money.  BUT we have earned the right to be overweight! We have earned the right to feel full all day long!  Haven’t we?

Well, I filled my shopping cart with all the vegetables I recognized.  Here’s to vegetable soup following by HALF a plate of salad, followed by carrots for dessert!