Diet alone or exercise alone will NOT do it!

We were watching our diet.  We increased our vegetable intake.  We cut out the sugars and drastically reduced the carbs.  But we both gained weight – me two pounds, my husband six pounds.  The dietician was upset.  She takes weight gain as her personal failure.  We had cut down on the intensity and time of our exercise.  It was cold and rainy and dreary.  The stock market was in a nose dive.  We were depressed.  We slacked off.

We went back to the gym and after two days – we lost that weight gain.  So, do we have a choice?  We have to exercise AND watch our diet.  This is a taxing almost full time job.  On the other hand, we stopped eating out because we cannot control what we eat if we are not preparing it and so, we are managing to save $ 250 a month.  Unfortunately, that does not come close to recouping what we have lost in our retirement funds.

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HALF a PLATE of WHAT?

I don’t know what you grew up eating.  In my home, we had a meat or poultry, a baked potato, and frozen steamed veggies.  Yeah, those veggies lacked something called flavor!  So did the potato but we were able to doctor it.  Come to think of it, so did the meat, before we discovered salt and pepper.  Herbs?  That was a name of a few uncles. We grew up with the food pyramid and we ate those 7 grains daily.

Well, now, in our later years, we are at the dietician (who is one step above the nutritionist and Medicare will pay).  And this is what we have to eat – not just at dinner – but for every meal and snack:  VEGETABLES!

My husband NEVER ate anything green before.  This is RADICAL!  When I told my daughter that we have to cut back on costs because of the stock market nose dive, she said that Vegan eating is cheaper.  That would kill two birds with one stone – increase vegetable and cut down on money. Besides, if we shrink our stomachs, we will even eat LESS and thus, save even more money.  BUT we have earned the right to be overweight! We have earned the right to feel full all day long!  Haven’t we?

Well, I filled my shopping cart with all the vegetables I recognized.  Here’s to vegetable soup following by HALF a plate of salad, followed by carrots for dessert!

 

 

So what will we do when summer ends and winter comes? I mean Smoothies are great in hot weather…

I came up with the solution:  Silicon Soup!  I will teach Phil to make soup and then he can pour the silica gel into it.  If it is harmless to eat, even though the label says:  “Do Not Eat,” then it must be safer than Botox because I doubt the label on Botox says:  “Harmless to ingest.”

Then Phil can become Silicon Chef and offer nutritious food WITH the added benefit of smoothing out the wrinkles simultaneously.  If my tongue and throat got tight, which they did, I mean just think what it can do the wrinkles!

So who thinks that my husband may have just invented the next big thing?

Maybe he invented Silicone Smoothie?  The next big thing ?  Better than botox?   I will let you know if my face is smoother, firmer, younger looking.  Then you can ask my husband to make Silicon Smoothie for you!

And thanks to my experience, you can drink it without worrying about whether or not you ingested something harmful!

So do I really want to grow old with him?

So my husband made me a protein shake – with a vegan base, cherry juice, almond milk, and blackberries.  If you drink 5 cups of liquid before 11:00 a.m., you are basically ensuring that you will be well hydrated for the day ahead.

I drank a glass, and then went for a second.  I felt the plastic in my mouth.  I took it out and realized that a silica gel pack must have dropped from the vega-based protein into the blender and was now on its way down to my stomach.

I panicked.  I called the 24-hour nurse hotline on my insurance card.  The nurse was not definitive.  She couldn’t tell me if I was ok or not.  She told me to call 911 and have the paramedics check me out.  The packet I showed them said:  “Do not eat” but also  “Contains a Harmless Substance.”  Phil was screaming :  “Don’t let them take you to the hospital.  It will be 6-8 hours before they let you go.”  And no one was telling me if what I swallowed is harmless or poisonous!

Phil got in touch with my daughter who Gooogled it up.  “What happens if you ingest silica pack?”  and the answer:  “ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.”  By that time, the paramedics had gotten in touch with Poison Control and they confirmed I did not need to go to the hospital.

Would you want to grow old with a man that doesn’t notice a silica packet dropping into the blender?

JUST GOT TWO MORE BOOKINGS…

I just got booked to do a book talk (no pun intended) two more times – both in Great Neck.  Will post details as it gets closer.

Yet another author found me on linked in and we connected and exchanged books.

I have met more interesting people in the past 6 months since I published my book!  The author of this book, Sylvie Heyman comes from my hometown and we share a lot in common.  So, here is to another fringe benefit of publishing!