If you would have told me that I would write a book when I retired, I would never have believed you. If you would have told me that I would spend a lot of time preparing all kinds of vegetable dishes in my retirement, I would never have believed you. If you had told me that we would be working in our retirement and still be paying a mortgage, I would never have believed you.
Yet, here we are. My book is still selling and I still have great reviews. My compost bin is full of vegetable clippings since our dietician insists that vegetables are the way to go. I find vegetables boring so I spend more and more time trying to find exotic ways to couch the plain vegetables we are supposed to eat. Half a plate of them at each meal! Plus, we are not allowed to add salt. I am still tutoring, even more than last year. My husband is still tutoring any chance he gets. We are still paying down a first mortgage and yes, we have an equity line. I guess we are doing okay because they always ask if we have a second equity line in addition, and they are always impressed that we do not.
I find I do not have the energy I used to have. If I go food shopping, I cook the next day. If I cook one day, I do the laundry the day after. One day, one activity. And on the days that we exercise, well, that IS the activity.
If you told me that I would stop caring about my house and let things slide a little, NO one would have believed you. Yet, I look the other way a lot now.
So that is how aging happens. It creeps up on you. You focus on the past. You appreciate what you have been through. You obsess about health – yours and your loved ones. And you see the future through your grandkids. You are not that relevant and you know it. But the grandkids…they are the raison d’être, and you focus on them. When you go on vacation, you don’t bring home souvenirs because honestly, who needs them? But you send age appropriate ones to your grandkids. You want them to be comfortable in the big world and you want the big world to open up to them. And you have to stop your thoughts from going there, to the dark places, to the real concerns, the real fears and worries – the pollution, the climate, the out of control weapons grade guns that are everywhere. You have to stop your mind from thinking about the future of our democracy. You have to stop seeing the robots that are now appearing everywhere, including our very own supermarket. You have to focus on the good. So you do. And you are already counting the minutes till you see your grandkids again.