Everyone Needs a Retirement Plan

Either way, Idina’s character’s life would have turned out ok.  We exit and pass the stage door.  There are buses waiting for whom?  For people from assisted living facilities?  Yes, probably.  It was not long ago that my mother was in assisted living.  I remember she took trips on occasion.  But the young people are all standing around behind the barriers.  I am no dope.  I go where the young people are.  The actors and actresses come out one at a time.  They come down the line and let the ones on line take selfies with them.  They autograph the playbill.  I am at one with these groupies even if I feel like a vampire feeding off the flesh of vibrant beings.  I, too, wait, hold out my playbill, flash a picture. 

 Idina Menzel comes out. maxresdefaultAnd she does walk down the line.  I have her photograph and her autograph.  And all I want to do, but dare not, is cup her cute youngish face and say:  “Idinala, because she is one of us – a nice Jewish girl from Queens and Syosset – “please tell me you have a plan in place for your retirement,” because when you are sixty it must be very hard to belt out your soul on stage once a day five days a week and an additional twice a day two times a week.

If / Then … or WHAT NOW?


The seats are really decent and we got them for half price.  Idina belts out how her life would have turned out If/Then.  She sings about two different scenarios.  Idina herself is forty-one and newly divorced with a son.  For all I know, she may just be belting out her own If/Then… on stage.  I remember If /Then was on my mind a lot when I was forty.  At fifty, not so much.  Because by the time I turned fifty, the past didn’t matter to me. I was so involved in life, I simply did not have any extra time to spare.  Just like the show suggests, I got over it, shrugged my shoulders, accepted that my life was never meant to be perfect, and forgave myself.   The best song in the show, What the Fuck?!  sums it up.  You never really understand why you mess up, but you learn to just go with it and laugh at your own flawed humanity.  At sixty, if I could sing, I would be singing WHAT NOW?