It’s beginning to look geriatric, every where you turn…

Yes, we are getting geriatric altogether, me, my husband, and our house. We just installed a floor-to-ceiling pole. Not for me to dance on, although one day if I get dementia, I just may. It’s so that my husband can grab onto it in order to get in and out of bed. He is suffering, according to the doctors, from the condition called “deconditioning,” which means his muscles are weak.

When we looked at recliners, we skipped over the ones that catapult you across the room. Sure, it would be easier for my husband but the goal is to strengthen, not weaken the already weakened muscles.

We just ordered a lift assist, a device that is supposed to help me help my husband to lift himself when he gets stuck in a chair.

My husband’s occupational therapist comes up with all these gadgets and devices, devices that make me realize that he is not the only one who needs assistance, that he is not the only one aging.

My pillbox that now occupies our dining room table reminds me that he is not aging alone and all these devices that now reside in my house, are a constant reminder that we are getting old altogether.

MY PROMO was very successful!

It led to new sales and the stats are showing me that in this month alone, over 300 NEW people read my book!  Thank you http://www.kindle.com!

THE YIZKOR CANDLE by Jacqueline Becker as it appears in MSK anthology

 

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     It was time to light the Yizkor, or memorial candle.  We traditionally light it during the week of shiva, or mourning.  We light it at sundown just before we light the four major holiday candles.  We also light it on the anniversary of the death of a close member the family.  The candle represents the soul.  Yizkor is the command verb to remember.  It would translate into:  “He SHALL remember.”  Remembering is imperative in our religion.  The candle is meant to burn a full 24 hours. 

    When our department took our supervisor out to celebrate her retirement, we went to a small, lovely Mexican restaurant.  It was late afternoon and the staff began to light the candles on our table.  My colleague-friend, Debbi, looked at me and I looked back at her.  We were the only ones who understood.  We burst out in laughter.  We could not hold back as the tears streamed down our cheeks.     To be continued tomorrow…

MY PROMO JUST STARTED AND 155 PEOPLE ARE READING MY BOOK!

Thank you KINDLE for suggesting that I offer a free promo.  And just in time for Mother’s Day.   http://www.kindle.com RAGING AGAINST AGING: Kicking & screaming, laughing & crying, stretching & kvetching by Jacqueline Becker.  HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

FREE PROMO of my book: RAGING AGAINST AGING on kindle.com May 9-14.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY.  You can read my book for free on kindle.com.  ENJOY!49178127_993156517559351_912127770929135616_n.jpg

THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR LIKES SO FAR

A writer must write but it’s like that old joke – if a tree falls in a forest and no one heard it, did it really fall?  If I write and no one responds, did I really write?  So your likes and comments ARE WHAT KEEPS ME GOING. MORE IS THERE SEX AFTER SLEEP APNEA ON MONDAY AFTER THE HOLIDAY!

IS THERE SEX AFTER SLEEP APNEA? (con’d)

Of course, if basketball is your sport, you know that the professional players all wear mouth guards.  Your man can play any position ——— figuratively and literally.  In fact his snore guard makes him appear younger, sexier, and more desirable especially if you take your reading glasses off.  You are so blind, that without your reading glasses you really cannot tell the difference between a mouthguard and a snore guard, a twenty year old and your husband, a muscular athlete and your old man.  So have a beer, and show that team spirit!  And bring on your own kind of Miami Heat!

IS THERE SEX AFTER SLEEP APNEA? (CON’D)

Of course, if basketball is your sport, you know that the professional players all wear mouth guards.  Your man can play any position ——— figuratively and literally.  In fact his snore guard makes him appear younger, sexier, and more desirable especially if you take your reading glasses off.  You are so blind, that without your reading glasses you really cannot tell the difference between a mouthguard and a snore guard, a twenty year old and your husband, a muscular athlete and your old man.  So have a beer, and show that team spirit!  And bring on your own kind of Miami Heat!

IS THERE SEX AFTER SLEEP APNEA (con’d)

Or, you can pretend you are in bed with a professional boxer.  He wears his mouthguard proudly!  He just knocked his opponent out!  He is a champion!  You might want to play “We are the champions of the world” by Queen to add to the victorious mood.  After all, your husband IS 75 and so what if his is not a mouthguard but a snore guard?  When you are fantasizing, do you care about the details?

IS THERE SEX AFTER SLEEP APNEA?

You shake your head.  You know for sure now that your bedroom is no longer sexy.  Your husband, who has another 20-25 years left is hooked to a machine and appears to be on life support.  And indeed, the cpap can save a man’s life!

WHAT DO YOU DO?

Your husband clears his throat.  He has heard your mutterings.  He does not want you sleeping in the other bedroom even though you know you are headed there.  He begs his doctor for an alternative.  For starters, his ENT specialist suggests a snore guard.

You husband orders a snore guard on www.feelgood.com.  And you wonder about the name of that company.

Well, for starters, you can play Famous Fantasy Football Fuck.  In fact, your husband has his old footballs shirt and one from his favorite pro football team.  So you can change up your role playing.  He can be a sexy, twenty-something, roughing it up in the park, showing you all his moves.  Or he can be a pro-player, loaded with money.  Either way, he needs his mouth guard.