It led to new sales and the stats are showing me that in this month alone, over 300 NEW people read my book! Thank you http://www.kindle.com!
It was time to light the Yizkor, or memorial candle. We traditionally light it during the week of shiva, or mourning. We light it at sundown just before we light the four major holiday candles. We also light it on the anniversary of the death of a close member the family. The candle represents the soul. Yizkor is the command verb to remember. It would translate into: “He SHALL remember.” Remembering is imperative in our religion. The candle is meant to burn a full 24 hours.
When our department took our supervisor out to celebrate her retirement, we went to a small, lovely Mexican restaurant. It was late afternoon and the staff began to light the candles on our table. My colleague-friend, Debbi, looked at me and I looked back at her. We were the only ones who understood. We burst out in laughter. We could not hold back as the tears streamed down our cheeks. To be continued tomorrow…
A writer must write but it’s like that old joke – if a tree falls in a forest and no one heard it, did it really fall? If I write and no one responds, did I really write? So your likes and comments ARE WHAT KEEPS ME GOING. MORE IS THERE SEX AFTER SLEEP APNEA ON MONDAY AFTER THE HOLIDAY!
Of course, if basketball is your sport, you know that the professional players all wear mouth guards. Your man can play any position ——— figuratively and literally. In fact his snore guard makes him appear younger, sexier, and more desirable especially if you take your reading glasses off. You are so blind, that without your reading glasses you really cannot tell the difference between a mouthguard and a snore guard, a twenty year old and your husband, a muscular athlete and your old man. So have a beer, and show that team spirit! And bring on your own kind of Miami Heat!
You shake your head. You know for sure now that your bedroom is no longer sexy. Your husband, who has another 20-25 years left is hooked to a machine and appears to be on life support. And indeed, the cpap can save a man’s life!
WHAT DO YOU DO?
Your husband clears his throat. He has heard your mutterings. He does not want you sleeping in the other bedroom even though you know you are headed there. He begs his doctor for an alternative. For starters, his ENT specialist suggests a snore guard.
You husband orders a snore guard on www.feelgood.com. And you wonder about the name of that company.
Well, for starters, you can play Famous Fantasy Football Fuck. In fact, your husband has his old footballs shirt and one from his favorite pro football team. So you can change up your role playing. He can be a sexy, twenty-something, roughing it up in the park, showing you all his moves. Or he can be a pro-player, loaded with money. Either way, he needs his mouth guard.
How do I know? Because I get reports online! For ALL those considering publishing, I would recommend you look into KDP. They are now offering formatting books program and webinars to help you promote. I have ANOTHER book talk beginning mid April in Woodbury, NY. Anyone interested, please message me.
LOOKING FOR IDEAS – LITERARY AGENT, PUBLISHING HOUSE
Do you know a senior who has sleep apnea? Who was told to use a CPAP machine but who hates it?
I wrote a very funny piece: IS THERE SEX AFTER SLEEP APNEA? The piece deals head on with the feelings but it has an uplifting and uproarious conclusion. I found many ways to make your man (and you) feel romantic and sexy about the machine.
I am thinking GRAPHIC NOVEL for seniors. Any ideas?
I came up with the solution: Silicon Soup! I will teach Phil to make soup and then he can pour the silica gel into it. If it is harmless to eat, even though the label says: “Do Not Eat,” then it must be safer than Botox because I doubt the label on Botox says: “Harmless to ingest.”
Then Phil can become Silicon Chef and offer nutritious food WITH the added benefit of smoothing out the wrinkles simultaneously. If my tongue and throat got tight, which they did, I mean just think what it can do the wrinkles!
Maybe he invented Silicone Smoothie? The next big thing ? Better than botox? I will let you know if my face is smoother, firmer, younger looking. Then you can ask my husband to make Silicon Smoothie for you!
And thanks to my experience, you can drink it without worrying about whether or not you ingested something harmful!
So my husband made me a protein shake – with a vegan base, cherry juice, almond milk, and blackberries. If you drink 5 cups of liquid before 11:00 a.m., you are basically ensuring that you will be well hydrated for the day ahead.
I drank a glass, and then went for a second. I felt the plastic in my mouth. I took it out and realized that a silica gel pack must have dropped from the vega-based protein into the blender and was now on its way down to my stomach.
I panicked. I called the 24-hour nurse hotline on my insurance card. The nurse was not definitive. She couldn’t tell me if I was ok or not. She told me to call 911 and have the paramedics check me out. The packet I showed them said: “Do not eat” but also “Contains a Harmless Substance.” Phil was screaming : “Don’t let them take you to the hospital. It will be 6-8 hours before they let you go.” And no one was telling me if what I swallowed is harmless or poisonous!
Phil got in touch with my daughter who Gooogled it up. “What happens if you ingest silica pack?” and the answer: “ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.” By that time, the paramedics had gotten in touch with Poison Control and they confirmed I did not need to go to the hospital.
Would you want to grow old with a man that doesn’t notice a silica packet dropping into the blender?