Five years ago we went shopping for a new mattress. After trying out all kinds, we decided on the Sleep Number bed that adjusts firmness. You loved playing with the remote that made the head go up or down, and the feet go up and down. Then we picked out a modern four poster – the kind that holds those gauzy curtains, the kind you saw in those Caribbean hotels you went to every winter vacation, the kind that blow in the wind. You are a romantic.
BUT NOW your bed no longer reminds you of those 5-star hotels. The curtains no longer remind you of the Trade Winds. NO! Your bed reminds you of the hospital bed your husband was in when he came out from his surgeries. The curtain reminds you of the privacy curtains you opened and closed in the hospital rooms he shared with strangers.
To add insult to injury, your husband has been told that his sleep apnea is now severe and he needs the CPAP machine. CPAP stands for continuous positive airway pressure therapy. It used a hose and a mask or nosepiece to deliver constant steady air pressure. For the rest of us, however, the CPAP looks an awful lot like a breathing machine. That’s right. You put the mask on and you plug yourself in. To be continued…
I am presenting a book talk about my book: RAGING AGAINST AGING tomorrow but I intend to include some new material I am working on. I have an idea for a graphic novel entitled: “IS THERE SEX AFTER SLEEP APNEA?”
I mean, first they tell you to “AGE WITH DIGNITY.” Then they sing: “YOU CAN’T TAKE AWAY MY DIGNITY!”
THEN THEY hand your husband a C-PAP machine with the mask! Your husband is thinking – ‘THEY JUST TOOK AWAY MY DIGNITY!” and you are thinking that even though this is a breathing machine it sure looks like an oxygen machine.
And you are both wondering if there is a shred of romance to be had!
LOOKING FOR IDEAS – LITERARY AGENT, PUBLISHING HOUSE
Do you know a senior who has sleep apnea? Who was told to use a CPAP machine but who hates it?
I wrote a very funny piece: IS THERE SEX AFTER SLEEP APNEA? The piece deals head on with the feelings but it has an uplifting and uproarious conclusion. I found many ways to make your man (and you) feel romantic and sexy about the machine.
I am thinking GRAPHIC NOVEL for seniors. Any ideas?
We were watching our diet. We increased our vegetable intake. We cut out the sugars and drastically reduced the carbs. But we both gained weight – me two pounds, my husband six pounds. The dietician was upset. She takes weight gain as her personal failure. We had cut down on the intensity and time of our exercise. It was cold and rainy and dreary. The stock market was in a nose dive. We were depressed. We slacked off.
We went back to the gym and after two days – we lost that weight gain. So, do we have a choice? We have to exercise AND watch our diet. This is a taxing almost full time job. On the other hand, we stopped eating out because we cannot control what we eat if we are not preparing it and so, we are managing to save $ 250 a month. Unfortunately, that does not come close to recouping what we have lost in our retirement funds.
Did I mention that in addition to dieting, the dietician stressed how important exercise is. In fact, the two weeks that we reduced our exercise to a bare minimum, my husband and I gained three pounds. We cannot afford that. So just hoping to lose three pounds, and eating healthy is just not enough. So, we are back to the gym, exercising 30-45 minutes at least five times a week.