IS THERE SEX AFTER SLEEP APNEA? (con’d)

Of course, if basketball is your sport, you know that the professional players all wear mouth guards.  Your man can play any position ——— figuratively and literally.  In fact his snore guard makes him appear younger, sexier, and more desirable especially if you take your reading glasses off.  You are so blind, that without your reading glasses you really cannot tell the difference between a mouthguard and a snore guard, a twenty year old and your husband, a muscular athlete and your old man.  So have a beer, and show that team spirit!  And bring on your own kind of Miami Heat!

IS THERE SEX AFTER SLEEP APNEA? (CON’D)

Of course, if basketball is your sport, you know that the professional players all wear mouth guards.  Your man can play any position ——— figuratively and literally.  In fact his snore guard makes him appear younger, sexier, and more desirable especially if you take your reading glasses off.  You are so blind, that without your reading glasses you really cannot tell the difference between a mouthguard and a snore guard, a twenty year old and your husband, a muscular athlete and your old man.  So have a beer, and show that team spirit!  And bring on your own kind of Miami Heat!

IS THERE SEX AFTER SLEEP APNEA (con’d)

Or, you can pretend you are in bed with a professional boxer.  He wears his mouthguard proudly!  He just knocked his opponent out!  He is a champion!  You might want to play “We are the champions of the world” by Queen to add to the victorious mood.  After all, your husband IS 75 and so what if his is not a mouthguard but a snore guard?  When you are fantasizing, do you care about the details?

SO MY HUSBAND WAS TOLD HIS SLEEP APNEA NEEDED TO BE ADDRESSED.

Five years ago we went shopping for a new mattress.  After trying out all kinds, we decided on the Sleep Number bed that adjusts firmness.  You loved playing with the remote that made the head go up or down, and the feet go up and down.  Then we picked out a modern four poster – the kind that holds those gauzy curtains, the kind you saw in those Caribbean hotels you went to every winter vacation, the kind that blow in the wind.  You are a romantic.

BUT NOW your bed no longer reminds you of those 5-star hotels.  The curtains no longer remind you of the Trade Winds.  NO!  Your bed reminds you of the hospital bed your husband was in when he came out from his surgeries.  The curtain reminds you of the privacy curtains you opened and closed in the hospital rooms he shared with strangers.

To add insult to injury, your husband has been told that his sleep apnea is now severe and he needs the CPAP machine.  CPAP stands for continuous positive airway pressure therapy.  It used a hose and a mask or nosepiece to deliver constant steady air pressure.  For the rest of us, however, the CPAP looks an awful lot like a breathing machine.  That’s right.  You put the mask on and you plug yourself in.    To be continued…

 

 

 

IS THERE SEX AFTER SLEEP APNEA?

I am presenting a book talk about my book:  RAGING AGAINST AGING tomorrow but I intend to include some new material I am working on.  I have an idea for a graphic novel entitled:  “IS THERE SEX AFTER SLEEP APNEA?”

I mean, first they tell you to “AGE WITH DIGNITY.”  Then they sing:  “YOU CAN’T TAKE AWAY MY DIGNITY!”

THEN THEY hand your husband a C-PAP machine with the mask!  Your husband is thinking – ‘THEY JUST TOOK AWAY MY DIGNITY!” and you are thinking that even though this is a breathing machine it sure looks like an oxygen machine.

And you are both wondering if there is a shred of romance to be had!download-1.jpg

SEVEN MORE BOOKS SOLD RECENTLY!

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How do I know? Because I get reports online!  For ALL those considering publishing, I would recommend you look into KDP.  They are now offering formatting books program and webinars to help you promote.  I have ANOTHER book talk beginning mid April in Woodbury, NY.  Anyone interested, please message me.

 

 

Diet alone or exercise alone will NOT do it!

We were watching our diet.  We increased our vegetable intake.  We cut out the sugars and drastically reduced the carbs.  But we both gained weight – me two pounds, my husband six pounds.  The dietician was upset.  She takes weight gain as her personal failure.  We had cut down on the intensity and time of our exercise.  It was cold and rainy and dreary.  The stock market was in a nose dive.  We were depressed.  We slacked off.

We went back to the gym and after two days – we lost that weight gain.  So, do we have a choice?  We have to exercise AND watch our diet.  This is a taxing almost full time job.  On the other hand, we stopped eating out because we cannot control what we eat if we are not preparing it and so, we are managing to save $ 250 a month.  Unfortunately, that does not come close to recouping what we have lost in our retirement funds.

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