How do I know? Because I get reports online! For ALL those considering publishing, I would recommend you look into KDP. They are now offering formatting books program and webinars to help you promote. I have ANOTHER book talk beginning mid April in Woodbury, NY. Anyone interested, please message me.
LOOKING FOR IDEAS – LITERARY AGENT, PUBLISHING HOUSE
Do you know a senior who has sleep apnea? Who was told to use a CPAP machine but who hates it?
I wrote a very funny piece: IS THERE SEX AFTER SLEEP APNEA? The piece deals head on with the feelings but it has an uplifting and uproarious conclusion. I found many ways to make your man (and you) feel romantic and sexy about the machine.
I am thinking GRAPHIC NOVEL for seniors. Any ideas?
I came up with the solution: Silicon Soup! I will teach Phil to make soup and then he can pour the silica gel into it. If it is harmless to eat, even though the label says: “Do Not Eat,” then it must be safer than Botox because I doubt the label on Botox says: “Harmless to ingest.”
Then Phil can become Silicon Chef and offer nutritious food WITH the added benefit of smoothing out the wrinkles simultaneously. If my tongue and throat got tight, which they did, I mean just think what it can do the wrinkles!
Maybe he invented Silicone Smoothie? The next big thing ? Better than botox? I will let you know if my face is smoother, firmer, younger looking. Then you can ask my husband to make Silicon Smoothie for you!
And thanks to my experience, you can drink it without worrying about whether or not you ingested something harmful!
So my husband made me a protein shake – with a vegan base, cherry juice, almond milk, and blackberries. If you drink 5 cups of liquid before 11:00 a.m., you are basically ensuring that you will be well hydrated for the day ahead.
I drank a glass, and then went for a second. I felt the plastic in my mouth. I took it out and realized that a silica gel pack must have dropped from the vega-based protein into the blender and was now on its way down to my stomach.
I panicked. I called the 24-hour nurse hotline on my insurance card. The nurse was not definitive. She couldn’t tell me if I was ok or not. She told me to call 911 and have the paramedics check me out. The packet I showed them said: “Do not eat” but also “Contains a Harmless Substance.” Phil was screaming : “Don’t let them take you to the hospital. It will be 6-8 hours before they let you go.” And no one was telling me if what I swallowed is harmless or poisonous!
Phil got in touch with my daughter who Gooogled it up. “What happens if you ingest silica pack?” and the answer: “ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.” By that time, the paramedics had gotten in touch with Poison Control and they confirmed I did not need to go to the hospital.
Would you want to grow old with a man that doesn’t notice a silica packet dropping into the blender?
I just got booked to do a book talk (no pun intended) two more times – both in Great Neck. Will post details as it gets closer.
Ok – so it is for next April…But I just got booked to do my Aging Discussion next April. Sharing my stories from my book, RAGING AGAINST AGING, poems by Judith Viorst, Dr. Seuss, and citing Nora Ephron, we explore the five major concerns of aging. This is NOT a How-To, because I do NOT know how-to age, we discuss our feelings using humor.
She joined my talk for fifteen minutes and told me in advance that she was scheduled to take a trip. She would leave at 11:30 and I was not to take it personally.
Well, I had to remind her when it was 11:40. She got up and much to my surprise, she came back five minutes later. “I’ll take the trip in a two weeks when they offer it again,” she said. She stayed after my little talk was over to chat privately with me about what she was doing to stay relevant.
These senior citizens are national treasures!
My book is light enough to read on a plane or at the beach but hits on every concern you have about aging – with humor and self reflection, you don’t have to age alone. AGE WITH ME!
randomthoughtsfromthe60s 