IS THERE SEX AFTER SLEEP APNEA?

You shake your head.  You know for sure now that your bedroom is no longer sexy.  Your husband, who has another 20-25 years left is hooked to a machine and appears to be on life support.  And indeed, the cpap can save a man’s life!

WHAT DO YOU DO?

Your husband clears his throat.  He has heard your mutterings.  He does not want you sleeping in the other bedroom even though you know you are headed there.  He begs his doctor for an alternative.  For starters, his ENT specialist suggests a snore guard.

You husband orders a snore guard on www.feelgood.com.  And you wonder about the name of that company.

Well, for starters, you can play Famous Fantasy Football Fuck.  In fact, your husband has his old footballs shirt and one from his favorite pro football team.  So you can change up your role playing.  He can be a sexy, twenty-something, roughing it up in the park, showing you all his moves.  Or he can be a pro-player, loaded with money.  Either way, he needs his mouth guard.  

 

SO MY HUSBAND HAS SLEEP APNEA…

Five years ago we went shopping for a new mattress.  After trying out all kinds, we decided on the Sleep Number bed that adjusts firmness.  You loved playing with the remote that made the head go up or down, and the feet go up and down.  Then we picked out a modern four poster – the kind that holds those gauzy curtains, the kind you saw in those Caribbean hotels you went to every winter vacation, the kind that blow in the wind.  You are a romantic.

BUT NOW your bed no longer reminds you of those 5-star hotels.  The curtains no longer remind you of the Trade Winds.  NO!  Your bed reminds you of the hospital bed your husband was in when he came out from his surgeries.  The curtain reminds you of the privacy curtains you opened and closed in the hospital rooms he shared with strangers.

To add insult to injury, your husband has been told that his sleep apnea is now severe and he needs the CPAP machine.  CPAP stands for continuous positive airway pressure therapy.  It used a hose and a mask or nosepiece to deliver constant steady air pressure.  For the rest of us, however, the CPAP looks an awful lot like a breathing machine.  That’s right.  You put the mask on and you plug yourself in.    To be continued…

SO MY HUSBAND WAS TOLD HIS SLEEP APNEA NEEDED TO BE ADDRESSED.

Five years ago we went shopping for a new mattress.  After trying out all kinds, we decided on the Sleep Number bed that adjusts firmness.  You loved playing with the remote that made the head go up or down, and the feet go up and down.  Then we picked out a modern four poster – the kind that holds those gauzy curtains, the kind you saw in those Caribbean hotels you went to every winter vacation, the kind that blow in the wind.  You are a romantic.

BUT NOW your bed no longer reminds you of those 5-star hotels.  The curtains no longer remind you of the Trade Winds.  NO!  Your bed reminds you of the hospital bed your husband was in when he came out from his surgeries.  The curtain reminds you of the privacy curtains you opened and closed in the hospital rooms he shared with strangers.

To add insult to injury, your husband has been told that his sleep apnea is now severe and he needs the CPAP machine.  CPAP stands for continuous positive airway pressure therapy.  It used a hose and a mask or nosepiece to deliver constant steady air pressure.  For the rest of us, however, the CPAP looks an awful lot like a breathing machine.  That’s right.  You put the mask on and you plug yourself in.    To be continued…

 

 

 

IS THERE SEX AFTER SLEEP APNEA?

I am presenting a book talk about my book:  RAGING AGAINST AGING tomorrow but I intend to include some new material I am working on.  I have an idea for a graphic novel entitled:  “IS THERE SEX AFTER SLEEP APNEA?”

I mean, first they tell you to “AGE WITH DIGNITY.”  Then they sing:  “YOU CAN’T TAKE AWAY MY DIGNITY!”

THEN THEY hand your husband a C-PAP machine with the mask!  Your husband is thinking – ‘THEY JUST TOOK AWAY MY DIGNITY!” and you are thinking that even though this is a breathing machine it sure looks like an oxygen machine.

And you are both wondering if there is a shred of romance to be had!download-1.jpg

SEVEN MORE BOOKS SOLD RECENTLY!

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How do I know? Because I get reports online!  For ALL those considering publishing, I would recommend you look into KDP.  They are now offering formatting books program and webinars to help you promote.  I have ANOTHER book talk beginning mid April in Woodbury, NY.  Anyone interested, please message me.

 

 

looking for ideas – a literary agent? a publishing co? a graphic novel publisher? I have a piece called: IS THERE SEX AFTER SLEEP APNEA?

LOOKING FOR IDEAS – LITERARY AGENT, PUBLISHING HOUSE
Do you know a senior who has sleep apnea? Who was told to use a CPAP machine but who hates it?
I wrote a very funny piece: IS THERE SEX AFTER SLEEP APNEA? The piece deals head on with the feelings but it has an uplifting and uproarious conclusion. I found many ways to make your man (and you) feel romantic and sexy about the machine.
I am thinking GRAPHIC NOVEL for seniors. Any ideas?

It’s not about the writing

It is about the stories behind the writing.  Writing is just storytelling.  You write .  You put a book out there in the world.  But I have learned that is not enough.  You have to speak.  You have to put yourself out there and tell your stories.  You have to be the mouthpiece, the voice.  People may or may not buy your book but they will turn out to hear you talk.  And the audience has to be with you and you have to be one with them.  It is magical when it goes well.  You rise above yourself and the audience carries you.  I used to be afraid to be a public speaker.  I was a teacher.  I have learned to drop the teachable moments and connect – not by trying, by just telling my story the way it is.  Storytelling predated writing and it will last longer than writing.  Storytelling is the way we connected, connect, and will always connect.